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Car Jamming

October 10th, 2008 · Posted by Skuds in Life/Technology · No Comments · Life, Technology

Believe it or, if you must, believe it not but one of the most popular posts I have ever written in the four years or so I have been doing this is this one about hip punishments back in April 2006.  It did not attract many comments but overthe years there is hardly a month goes by without quite a few people finding it as a result of searching Google for ‘hip punishments’.

Well now a story from the world of technology has opened up a whole new set of potential hip punishments for a sequel to the book – the Ford motor company are developing what are in effect parental controls for cars.  These will be introduced on the Focus at first but will end up as standard on all their cars.  The idea is that everyone has their own key to the car, but the car can be programmed to restrict some features for specific keys.

So far there are no plans to extend the options so you can disable the brakes and airbags for particular individuals – that would be a bit harsh – but I can think of other possibilities, like linking it to the sat nav.  You could apply these controls to the keys you let the teenagers use if they borrow the family car, or to the keys of their own car if you have bought one for them. Imagine the possibilities:

  • A blanket speed restriction so the car can never go above 70mph
  • A selective speed restriction so that the car can never exceed the limit for the road it is on.
  • A blanket speed restriction of 30mph if their bedroom is really untidy
  • A limit on the volume of the stereo so they can’t cruise with music playing at window-wobbling bass levels
  • Locking the stereo so it will only play Magic FM (although this might be grounds for calling in the child welfare workers)
  • Really annoying warnings if seatbelts are undone
  • Making the car refuse to go to certain places like where the local cruise takes place, or the local under-age drinking den
  • Making restrictions increment after certain times of night
  • Making the kids drive a Ford Focus in the first place
  • Limit the engine to 2000 revs

All of this assumes that would-be Marge Simpsons can persuade their teenagers to show them how to program it all…

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