Today at work we had a local bike shop set up a stall at lunchtime, offering 15% staff discounts at their shop to try and tempt us out of our cars and into accident and emergency onto bicycles.  All very worthy, and they do have an extensive catalogue.  I would be interested to see how much of that range they manage to carry in-store, because it is 124 pages crammed with everything from new pedals to handlebar tape via seat posts and chain sets.  With so much crammed in there it is no surprise that a few amusing items are included.The first thing that caught my eye was this description of a product.  The way it starts I thought it was a product description of an inflatable woman…

If your nocturnal habits are based on endurance, Wilma-10 could be the perfect choice to escort you through the night.  Using the latest 920 lumen Wilma lamp unit with integrated PCS switch unit, Wilma-10 comes with an ultra-lightweight 10.0Ah Li-ion bottle battery which provides an amazing run time of 5 hours 30 minutes.  Includes the Micro charger for rapid recharging.

Fnarr fnarr, as Finbarr Saunders would say.

A few pages before that there is a saddle that costs an incredible £225, which goes by the name of “Scratch Nack“.  I don’t know about anyone else, but for £225 I would want a saddle that prevented nack scratches rather than boasting about them!

Jokes aside, it is a wide range, and although some parts are ridiculously expensive (i.e. more than the price of my entire bike) it does contain cheap stuff too, and I am a bit tempted by a particular set of pedals in there.  The place is just down the road from where Charlie got his motorbike in Redhill, so I might pop in there.

I certainly won’t go to their website though.  It has to be the most feature- and content-free commercial site I have ever seen.  All it has is their address, phone number and email address. Plus a link to the web designers – whose motto/slogan is “no nonsense websites”.  Very apt.