I received the email today that told me I was not picked for the final tranche of people to take their place on the 4th plinth as part of Antony Gormley’s One & Other.  While I am a little disappointed, that is far outweighed by relief.  I have seen quite a few of the past plinthers and there are some tough acts to follow.I was starting to get a bit worried in case I was picked, because I really had no idea what to do. Anything I could think of had been done and/or I couldn’t do it anyway.  The list of things I am incapable of doing through lack of skills and talent got to be quite long…

• Juggling
• Stilt walking
• Any other circus skills
• Singing
• Dancing
• Knitting
• Yoga
• Posing as a statue
• Tai Chi
• Playing guitar
• Playing violin
• Playing trumpet
• Playing any musical instrument

Also I was getting paranoid about doing anything that would require amplification as I had a mental picture of the sky opening and pouring down on expensive hired electronics.

I was left with only a couple of possibilities:  getting in touch with LMHR for some decent banners and reciting the poem The Hangman, leaving me with only 50 minutes to fill, going to the fancy dress shop in Horsham for a suitably eye-catching costume – perhaps even doublet and hose and reciting some killer Shakespeare solioquys.

Mind you, I did see a statement from the Met police that nudity per se was not a criminal offence so there was always that last resort….  I think we all had a lucky escape.