Sometimes a film comes along where just the title makes you think that at least it won’t be boring. Many of these are Japanese and one of them is Tokyo Gore Police. How’s this for a summary?

From the people who gave you The Machine Girl comes the even crazier Tokyo Gore Police! The makeup and special effects guru behind The Machine Girl, Exte, and Meatball Machine, director Nishimura Yoshihiro remakes his own award-winning 1995 indie short Anatomia Extinction into a gleeful splatter galore bound for cult classic status. Spilling buckets of blood and then some more, Tokyo Gore Police has all the gore, exploitation, action, and sickly inventive use of body parts you could possibly ask for. Eihi Shiina from Audition stands tall and beautiful in the midst of the sadistic mayhem as the vengeful monster slayer in a very short skirt. Living up to its billing with eye-popping gore, comically over-the-top perversions, and thoroughly entertaining madness, Tokyo Gore Police is a must-watch for fans of gore and extreme cinema.

“all the gore, exploitation, action, and sickly inventive use of body parts you could possibly ask for”? Tempting. I saw a similar film in HMV the other day, with an equally does-what-it-says-on-the-tin title: Robo-Geisha. It is summarised thus:

Get ready for the most unashamedly over-the-top and deliriously inventive cinematic experience of your life, as the Japanese masters of movie mayhem achieve a brand new level of jaw-dropping craziness. To help them achieve their goal of taking over the world, a megalomaniac Japanese businessman and his son recruit a vicious gang of Geisha assassins. These include two feisty sisters with an amazing range of surgically added weapons. But when one of these Robo-Geishas refuses to kill an innocent group of ex-employees, its butt-blades versus wig napalm and machine breasts against killer-cleaver socks as the assassins take on the Geisha’s in one of the most mind-bending movie battles of all time. Throw in the buildings that bleed, the Giant Castle Robot and the Breast Milk From Hell, and you have a wonderfully insane Kamikaze movie that will have you laughing out loud!

Apparently the film also features “rectal missiles of mass destruction”.

They sound like films to make Battle Royale seem like a Disney film in comparison. No idea if they are good, bad or so-bad-they-are-good, but I think I will have to find out some time this year. The whole genre is fertile ground for anybody looking for hardcore band names though.