I am starting to think that Jayne and I are both a bit accident prone. Just recently I have concussed myself on a kitchen cupboard door and stabbed myself with a fork while washing up. I have also taken chunks out of my leg twice manouevering my bicycle around the house. And I don’t want to think about how many times I have electrocuted myself. I lost count after the first few times. Meanwhile Jayne’s latest acheivement was to fall down the stairs yesterday. The second time she has done that while I have been with her.
Fortunately this did not involve a trip to A&E like the last time. On top of everything else we had to put up with the fact that every time they had her alone, the staff kept telling Jayne that they do have a domestic violence unit and now that I know that is their approach I find it very hard to not look guilty if I take her into hospital.
All I can say is that one sound that is guaranteed to get you flying out of bed a lot earlier than intended on a Saturday morning is <BUMP> “fuck!” <BUMP> “fuck!!” <BUMP>”fuck!!! <THUD> <MOAN>. I should have recorded it as a ringtone for my alarm because it got me moving a lot more effectively than any of the other sounds I have tried.
I was quite relieved that it was just a swollen ankle, because it sounded a lot worse.
I fell over doing a parkrun in Leeds- bruises all down my right hand side and a lovely black eye. Rob is dreading people having a go at him. The oddest thing is customers at work asking what happened. What do they think? I’m going to tell a stranger about possible domestic violence? Because lots of them don’t look like they believe me…
Sounds like an excuse to try flogging some copies of that Roddy Doyle book!
Just remembered the other ultra-effective noise to get you leaping out of bed – the sound of a cat or dog trying to be sick on the carpet.