It was described as turkey “with all the trimmings” and came with gravy, roast spuds, stuffing, sausages wrapped in bacon, carrots and… brocolli. I like brocolli, but surely this is an occasion for sprouts! I am not a great one for traditions, I would happily have a stir-fry on xmas day, but if you are going to do the turkey thing then you must have sprouts. I had been looking forward to those sprouts, and to releasing them back into the wild at intervals throughout the rest of the day.

At least I got to wear a paper hat for an hour or two. That is something I suppose.

As is often the case, I have returned home with even more books to add to the queue – just when I was on top of my reading list.  No complaints though: I can now look forward to the new Malcolm Gladwell book and the Atheist’s Guide to Christmas, which Rob got signed by Ariane Sherine while he was in London.

I can also look forward to playing with a remote release for my camera, thanks to the Essex-based sister.  A work colleague swears by these for totally avoiding camera-shake when doing night-time photography with long exposures but there is no way I am taking the camera out in all this rain so I will have to wait for that pleasure.  What it does mean is one more suspicious-looking gadget in the luggage when the camera bag goes through an x-ray machine.

Chhristmas is now officially over.  In our house we don’t consider that it has really happened until we have been back to Essex for the day.

The bottom or the barrel has to be this from Boxing Day:

The All Star Impressions Show
One-off special in which celebrities including Ulrika Jonsson, David Gest, Tim Healy, Les Dennis, Eamonn Holmes, Jerry Hall, Paul Daniels and Joe Pasquale impersonate a range of familiar faces.  Hosted by Stephen Mulhern.

If that listing had appeared in TV Go Home I would have enjoyed it as a really good satire on the fatuousness of TV.  I already had that marked down as one to avoid, but braver souls who actually watched it report that it was even worse than it sounded on paper. I did watch the Youtube clip in that link and it really was dire. Eamonn Holmes was a passable Elvis, but the Steptoe & Son sketch…  Mackenzie Crook was an inspired choice for old man Steptoe, but Harold Steptoe said ‘dirty old man’ in every single line, removing any remote chance of wringing any enjoyment out of it.

Immediately before that car crash was All Star Family Fortunes and before that was Ant & Dec’s Christmas Show where, according to the listings, “Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan take part in a series of party games”.  Is it any surprise the BBC thrashed them in the ratings this year?

Looking at the listings for today I see that I am currently missing something really special on Discovery:

How Its Made
Double-bill.  A look at the manufacture of copper pipe fittings and the production of kitchen scissors.

Wow.  It does actually sound more tempting then most of the Christmas so-called specials on offer.

So did I actually watch any TV over Christmas, or just sit sniping at the listings?  I did.  I watched:

Christmas Eve

• QI (On iPlayer)

Christmas Day

• Doctor Who – totally bonkers. Like to see what deus ex machina RTD will deploy to get out of this one.

Boxing Day

• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (first 30 minutes, then the rest on V+ after our guests went)  I had hoped it would make more sense the second time round.  It didn’t.  Brilliant effects but never really knew what was meant to be going on.

Sunday

• Celebrity Mastermind – the last ten minutes.
• Top Gear Bolivia Special – the credits listed a Safety Advisor’.  Did they leave him at home or something?

Today

I expect to watch the Day of the Triffids remake and at the same time will record the documentary about Not the Nine O’Clock News.  I will not, under any circumstances, watch Match of the Day!

I will also not watch Celebrity Mastermind.  Either I am severaly out-of-touch or the BBC have completely re-defined the term celebrity because the contestands are Darren Bennett, Stuart Maconie, Linda Papadopoulos and Andrew Lancel.  I have heard of Maconie of course but have no idea who the others are.  Maybe  I should watch the first 5 minutes to find out.

It is going to look lovely tomorrow after the huge cat population have an overnight shredding spree.

Scar and Rojo are looking forward to Christmas day

Getting the car moving again coincided with Jayne getting paid, so today saw one or two rash purchases in town while I was working, leading to an entertaining few minutes at home this evening as we tried to get Scar and Rojo to model their new scarf and santa hat.

Whatever happened to the traditions of doing the tree and decorating the house on Christmas Eve (as soon as you get back from doing the xmas shopping) and taking it all down on 12th night?

Unfortunately it will probably be out-sold by some faceless wannabe from a TV talent show.