I just realised today that I don’t use my garden. Sort of. It is useful because otherwise I would have nowhere to keep a shed, and if I didn’t have a shed I would have nowhere to keep the lawnmower but that is a bit of a circular argument since without a garden I wouldn’t need a lawnmower.It was handy when the kids were little, giving them somewhere to play, to have a paddling pool, or to have camping adventures, but they have grown out of all that now.  A few times a year Jayne hangs washing out to dry and 90% of the time it gets rained on anyway. Once every year or two we will fire up the barbecue and then I’ll remember that I don’t really like barbecues. I don’t lie out there sunbathing or anything.
Just about the only time I go into the garden is to tidy it up, and even that is a bit pointless – what am I tidying it up for?
Oh yes… the cats enjoy it, and it gives me room for a graveyard of old bicycles.
Thought about growing your own vegetables?!
That is an idea but would be heartbreaking. 90% of what we deliberately plant just dies . The heavy clay soil with no drainage (combined with my dislike of gardening) kills it all off.
Maybe a rice paddy would be the answer?
Oh come on – surely the Grandad George genes are in there somewhere. As for the clay soil you could try raised beds, for gardening ability you could try potatoes in bags (heavy duty black sacks will do). We have done that the last couple of years and, despite almost totally neglecting them and a plague of massive rock-hard Yorkshire slugs, we have got loads of spuds. The best bit is that even people who don’t much like vegetables will eat spuds! I think stuff like broad beans are quite easy but I’ve only just leaned what to do with them so maybe we’ll try next year.
Ooo, and rhubarb is great and actually likes heavy soil! Again it seems to thrive on total neglect and then you can make rhubarb crumble.