I’m getting married tomorrow. Sort of. It is out 15th anniversary and we are renewing our vows. Really we are doing it for our family because fifteen years ago we just went out and got married at the Town Hall with just our neighbour as a witness. No fuss, no reception, no wedding photos and not even a real honeymoon – I was back at work the next day.

One of the key things is to have wedding photos, so we are dressing a bit more formally that you might normally do for vow renewals. It is a bit like the film Green Card where Gerard Depardieu and Andie McDowell were taking all those pictures to make it look like they were a couple, except we are a couple. And we don’t need a green card. I do have a big nose though.

All of which makes it a bit of a shame that, after weeks of clear, hot weather it is all set to piss down tomorrow, inbetween 50mph gusts of wind.

After the months of planning, booking a venue, deciding on the menu, choosing decorations, and all the other 1001 things you need to do, there is just one tiny thing left to do. The vows. We are writing our own and I haven’t done mine yet. It is a bit harder because there is no formal ceremony as such. As complete heathens it was obviously not going to be a religious blessing, and we decided against having a Humanist celebrant – even Humanism is a bit too religious for me. It is like vegetarians having meat substitutes.

I suppose I should crack on with it…