I can’t remember exactly when I first started sharing a house with Ziggy, but it was a long time ago, more than 10 years ago when I was living in Brockley, and since then she has moved house with me twice.

When she first arrived from the Cat Protection League she was extremely shy. It was a couple of days before she even came out from behind the sofa. When she arrived she was called Ladybug, but with that white streak on her face I was reminded of Ziggy Stardust and so thats what I called her.

She was always a small cat; she had a litter very young which stunted her growth a bit. When I took her to the vets the first time they told me she had heart murmur which was probably due to a hole in the heart. It was enough of a rarity that the vet called all his colleagues in to have a listen. He said I could spend a fortune getting x-rays done, but even if they showed what was wrong there wouldn’t be any real treatment.

The vet said that Ziggy could have a long life, but it was also possible she could go at any time. As a result I was so scared of giving her a shock that would induce a heart attack that she was rather spoiled for a long time, but when she had a few fights with our other cat and showed no sign of harm we started to ease off a bit, and play a bit more roughly with her.

While I was in London, Ziggy did not act much like a cat. In some respects she was more like a puppy, always following me around, coming when she was called, and always happy to sit on my lap. If I went down to the corner shop she would follow me all the way up Arabin Road, hide in a bush when I got to the main road, and then re-appear to follow me all the way home. Neighbours used to stare as they thought I was taking her for a walk.

When I moved to Crawley , Ziggy was company for me after I separated. I had a couple of flatmates/lodgers, but they were always out.

When I first started seeing Jayne, Ziggy was like a jealous child. She would take every opportunity to scratch and bite the person who was coming round and competing for my attention, and would always make sure she would jump up on the sofa and get herself between us.

She eventually came to tolerate Jayne more after a couple of years and if anything became more Jayne’s shadow. Whenever Jayne went out to hang washing on the line Ziggy would follow her out, watch her sort the clothes out, and then follow her back again.

This weekend old age caught up with her. She disappeared for a day and came back looking years older, skinny, tired and unsteady. She hardly ate over the weekend and just drank water. She didn’t even attack us when we stroked her, which was unusual.

This morning I took her to the vets for the last time. She thought that Ziggy looked dehydrated, probably as a result of kidney failure or liver failure or even both. And recommended putting her to sleep. It seemed like the best thing to do, but it was sad watching her get injected and doze off for good. Right at the last minute, as the vet was about to slip the needle in, Ziggy showed a bit of character and started hissing and spitting which almost made me change my mind, and certainly made me feel even worse about allowing it to be done.

In fact I felt even worse than when Chrystal’s hamster had a huge tumor a few years ago and I had to drown it on Christmas Eve. Now I just have to look forward to breaking the news to her when she gets home from school later on…