I am always coming up with ideas for stuff, and have a 100% record in coming up with ideas which are impractical, undesirable or just barking. I don't think Dragons' Den will be fighting to fun any of my ideas.
For some reason I have been thinking about grass this week. Probably because we are having a party soon which will spill over into the garden and the grass is going to look very untidy by then. I cut it last week but it needs another cut, which it is not going to get since it is very squelchy.
I have two potential solutions:
1. Genetically modified grass
It must be possible to engineer grass so that it will grow soft and green, elbowing out weeds in the process, but not grow any higher than 5cm, or maybe 2cm. Do it in different sizes for different tastes. Special short varieties for cricket creases and bowling greens.
Imagine that. You would never need to mow the lawn again. Get a slug repellent built into it as well and you have a winner.
One downside would be the widespread economic impact to the country. All those chaps who cut the grass verges for the council would not be needed, lawnmower factories would be laying off staff.
Also, the Broadfield Forum would have one of its favourite topics for discussion removed – complaints about the grass verges.
2. Radio-controlled hovermowers
Actually these must exist already – and if not why not.
My back garden is too marshy to walk on, but my mower would be fine as its a hover mower. I suppose a 6-metre telescopic handle on it would do the job, or a network of paths or stepping stones, but radio-control for the mower would be more fun.
You could go a step further and have a rudimentary brain in it so it can be self-contained and self-controlled, but where is the fun in that? I'm pretty sure I have read about a prototype. Or maybe that was for a vacuum cleaner. Those spiders for cleaning swimming pools work on a similar principle, but without any programming.
I could always have a go myself… use the radio-control mechanism from my radio-controlled Dalek, rig up some steering mechanism…
There is another option of course – move somewhere drier or get some drainage put in the back garden, but that's not very 'Tomorrow's World' is it?
From a positive side these are both pretty good ideas – mostly because they are already being used. In the rarified world of sports grass they do have tough, short varieties as well as ones that thrive in shade etc. Of course rice is a form of grass so you could try that!
There are also remote controlled lawnmowers – like little hovercraft. You put something like a little wire fence a couple of centimetres high around your flower beds, ponds, tortoise etc and then it zips back and forth cutting the grass. Then it tucks itself away in its own little shed/hanger.