We had our team meeting today, followed by the mystery activity that had been billed as ‘go-karting with a difference’.   The boss didn’t tell us what we were doing until the last minute, when he gave us a map to Mercedes Benz World at Brooklands, and told us that we were going to be shown round all the cars in their exhibition and go out on the tracks big cars

In my case the big car was a CLK AMG with a 6.3-litre V8 engine.  Just a little bit different to the one-litre hatchback I normally drive!

This was not a total surprise.  I had been saying to a colleague that we could end up on the Top Gear test track or at Brooklands – knowing that our boss likes fast cars.  At the time I didn’t know that such a place as Mercedes Benz World existed: I only mentioned Brooklands because I knew it was the birthplace of British motor sport and was close to our head office, where the meeting was taking place.

It is a strange place: like a cross between a car dealership and a theme park, and getting more so because they are building a hotel there now.  Basically its a big building with several floors full of cars (all the current Mercedes models and Smart cars, plus some historic cars and F1 cars) which doubles as a museum/attraction and a working car salesroom and service garage.  There is a cinema showing a film about the history of Mercedes, a simulator (a sort of static ride), cafe, restaurant, shop and tracks.

There are three lots of tracks, for driving road cars, off-road cars, and for kids to drive cars.  We were driving the road cars – all AMG models which means they are big, fast, more expensive than anything I’m ever likely to drive again, and stuffed to the gills with electronic gadgetry.

Not being really into cars I learned a lot.  Before the visit I didn’t even know what an AMG was.  I didn’t know that Mercedes even made big 4×4 cars.  I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t even know what people were talking about when they said ‘understeer’ and ‘oversteer’ but they told us all about that in a little briefing before the drive.

The driving was kind of fun, especially as I knew Jayne would be extremely jealous.  (When I got there I sent her a text to say what we were up to and got a reply saying something like “Bastard. I hate you”)   First off we went down a wet track with the sort of grip you would get on black ice where you could jump on the brakes and see how the ABS takes over and stops the car properly.  You can also try moving off with the ESP turned off and see how the wheels just spin, and then turn ESP on again and see how the car compensates for the slippery surface.

Next it was onto a straight bit of track where you can put your foot right down and get up to 80 or 90 mph in an amazingly short distance and then slam on the brakes and come to a stop in an even shorter one – noting how the seat belts tighten and the brakes keep the car in line.  Even with hands off the wheel it stays straight under emergency braking conditions.  Great fun, even if that much acceleration leaves you a bit dizzy.

Next up it was onto the skid pan to throw the car into a few spins, and then finishing off by doing some circuits of one of the tracks.   The rampant branding and repition of all the safety features made the afternoon quite a relentless advertising campaign for Mercedes which was a bit wasted on me since I couldn’t afford the £72,000 to buy the car I was driving, and I have just decided that I probably will switch to cycling for my commute, but I can imagine that it would be hard for lots of people to resist choosing a Merc after all that if they were in the target audience.   I was suitably impressed with the way the cars handled under pressure – but then reminded myself how unlikely it would be that I ever need to brake sharply at 90mph or anything like that.

I’m not sure how effective it was at team-building, since we were split up into small groups all the time, but who cares?  I think we work well as a team already so this was more of a little perk.  Even I enjoyed myself, and (don’t tell Mercedes) but it didn’t take long before all the cars looked the same to me – with the obvious exceptions of the Maybachs and the £350K SLK.  Having said that, looking under the bonnet of the AMG cars was quite an experience…  absolutely packed with stuff!

I may not be in a position to buy a big Merc, even if I wanted one, but I am thinking about taking Jayne and the kids back there.  I am guessing that she would be in her element if she had a V8 to play with, and the kids would get a kick from driving a real car.

Nice of the boss to treat us to it though.  Quite a morale-booster.